I went to a parenting seminar some months back and there was one statement that blew my mind: Kids innately want to please their parents. What, really?! it doesn’t seem that way. The reason it doesn’t seem like that is when parents keep telling them, repeatedly, that the kids messed up, the kids feel that they can never please their parents and they give up on it and act out. This was news to me, I thought children just want to do opposite of what they are told to do.
Anyway, recently I put that to test. I started appreciating my 5yo for all the good things that she has done. In the morning and night prayer with my 5yo, I started thanking God for the wonderful children he has blessed us with. Fundamentally, in a day, appreciate more and reduce the negative reactions(visible disappointment, anger, frustration etc).
I have seen a big change in her behavior from then on. She does things on time and proactively. The things that I had to repeat 5 times to get done, she does it on her own. There are still things that need correction, but the positive words are definitely powerful.
Takeaway: Increase appreciations and reduce negative reactions.